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Not Happening

Know what I hate? Like really really really hate? I hate when you plan something, start looking forward to it, and then it doesn’t happen. It’s even worse when you can’t blame anything besides whatever cruel being guides the universe (in retrospect that sounds very agnostic, I would like to clarify that I think agnostics are just atheists without balls. That sentence should read “besides the purely coincidental unfolding of events as determined by probabilities”). This happens to me allllll the time. It happens so often that it has had two very profound effects on me. Effect number one, I’ve given up. I rarely attempt to do anything, because chances are it won’t happen. Effect number two is that I’ve developed a sixth sense, I can tell when something’s going to fall through. From the very first moment that something’s suggested I get a feeling of whether or not it’s really going to happen. People are all talk, everyone’s always saying, “Hey we should do this sometime,” but will they ever? No. There are two very important words in that sentence, “should” and “sometime”. Those are words to look out for, if it’s not “will” and “at this specific time”, it’s not happening. Another thing to watch for is any uncertainty. If someone doesn’t give you an ETA, they’re not showing up. Hell even if someone does give you a specific time they’ll be somewhere it’s not a guarantee. I’m sure someone’s thinking “Well couldn’t that work the other way? A person might show up without giving a specific time,” and I suppose it’s a possibility, in the same way it’s a possibility that I could go buy a lottery ticket, win millions of dollars, and spend the rest of my life laughing at those who have to work for a living, suckers. The third thing, and probably the most deadly to any planned event, is the change of plans. The closer to the deadline this change occurs the worse, and should plans change more than once you may as well forget about it, that’s just the way it works. It’s very depressing, the things that fall through are always the things I really wanted to do, but that’s life I guess.


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