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Tug of War

I think too much. That’s pretty much what it comes down to. I can never decide on anything without endlessly weighing the pros and the cons. A lot of the time after I do something, all I can think about are the cons. Everything sounds like a great idea before I do it, and a horrible idea afterwords. That’s mostly the reason why all these articles get put up here pretty late at night. I come up with ideas during the day, they sit for a while, gather substance, and then by night I have enough to write about, and I’ll think it’s great. However, the next morning I always wake up and think, “Wow, that was a really stupid idea, I should not have said that.” I do keep my resolve, I have yet to remove an article. It’s part of the reason I hate mornings. Everything sounds like a bad idea in the morning. I’ll come up with something at night, go to bed thinking about it, building it up, and then in the morning I wake up and it all sounds so ridiculous. It’s probably partly due to that I have to go to school in the morning, and that bad feeling spreads to everything else. I can guarantee you that I’ll wake up tomorrow and think that this post was dumb. Whenever I’m working on something or trying to decide something I’ll always go back and forth and back and forth between whether it’s any good or not. It’s like a mental war zone, and I’m always the one and only casualty. It’s pretty damn annoying. On the one hand, it might keep me from making bad decisions, but on the other hand it gets in the way of me just doing something without worrying about it, it takes away any and all spontaneity. See, there I go again! Both sides of the issue. Why oh why can’t I be single minded?

Things I thought when I woke up this morning: This post was too short, this post didn’t say what I wanted it to say, this post wasn’t funny, damn it I forgot to categorize this post (since corrected), and god damn it I should have done that homework!


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